I have not retired to the everlasting sleep of death. (yet)

I apologize for not posting in so long. I know the billions of people reading this must have been planning to commit mass suicide any day now, because hey! ho doesn't love good humor. But actually, I haven't simply been neglecting my poor little blog, I honestly, and proudly would like to announce, that good ole' Honest Abe and me have been battling hipsters nonstop for about two weeks now. I hope, that by hearing this I might gain an ounce or two of respect of all of my sooo infinite readers and/or hipster haters, I like to think those to words are synonymous. So just letting you all know, I did not die, I was simply doing my part to eradicate the world of a truly crippling disease. So, I apologize for anyone who has had to go without the words of wisdom from me and my brother for so long, I will try harder to do my part to make time for blogging along with the destroying the evil that is a hipster. Also I will start signing all my posts with a penguin. It will look like this <("). For no other reason than because: 1.It looks awesome,and 2. they are bested in the animal kingdom by only the octopus, which you might have guessed, would be a real pain in the ass to make with letters and numbers. and also I will include a picture I took of Lincoln after he hit his five hundredth mortality.

Achievement Unlocked: 500x Kill Streak

<(")