My Future

I am enlisted in the Marine Corps Delayed Entry Program. That means that once I'm done with high school, it's off to boot camp. School counserelers and friends of my parents ask me where I'm going to college, and I say "I'm not going to college." Then they say "Oh, well then what are you going to do?" When I tell them I'm joining the military, they say "Ooooh" (read: You dumbass, why on earth would you do a thing like that?) Then they tell me to make sure I get a job that will prepare me for civilian life once I get out, and I tell them "I don't plan on getting out." Then they ask me what possessed me to do such a thing. They ask me why I would even want to do this. I tell them that I want to protect their right to be an ignorant bigot who looks down on people like me.

That means you guys too. If you ask me, these are the people that we should be fighting. I swore to "protect the United States from all enemies, foreign and domestic, so help me God." The same God that these guys seem to know so well. I'd say the Westboro Baptist Church counts as a domestic enemy. By the way, "Fuck you, Westboro" will be on my tombstone. See you at my funeral you sons of bitches.

When they ask how I could possibly consider killing another human, I remind them of two things: 1. The radical islamists don't qualify as humans.
2. There is more to the military than infantry jobs. Alot more. In fact, there are more non-infantrymen than there are infantrymen. I picked Airfield Groundcrewman, or Military Police, whichever opens first.



 On a more interesting note, the night before I went to the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) to swear in, my dad came into my room with a really solemn look on his face. He looked at me and said "Daniel, they've been waiting a week to gety the DNA results back". I thought "Oh shit, me and my dad aren't related." Then he told me that Bin Laden was dead, and I was more relieved that me and my dad were related than I was that Bin Laden was dead. So the next day at MEPS, that's all anyone talked about. The Navy applicants bragged about how it was a SEAL team that killed him. The Marine applicants reminded them that most SEALs are Marines. And the Army and Air Force applicants asked their recruiters if it was too late to change branches. (I kid you guys, that didn't happen. Thank you for your decision to protect our country).

So anyway, I know it's a little late, but happy Armed Forces day everyone!! Be sure to thank your men and women in uniform for all they have sacrificed for you. If your parents or grandparents were in the military, I bet they would love it if you asked them about it and thanked them for their service.

Thank you.